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Do you remember the friendship you used to have?
Relationships don't break overnight; they erode slowly, often in the quiet moments.
Living with disconnection is frustrating: you might be successful in other areas of your life, yet feel invisible or exhausted in your marriage.
Relationship struggles are often fueled by burnout, misunderstood neurodivergence, or a nervous system stuck in survival mode.
You aren't failing; you're just stuck in a pattern that no longer works.
You might recognize yourself in one (or all) of these dynamics:
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Roommates: You manage the household side by side—bills, kids, chores—but the spark is gone and you miss your friend.
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Strangers: You're sitting on the same couch, but you feel miles apart. You stop talking because it’s just easier to stay quiet.
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Opponents: Every little comment feels like a trigger. You're walking on eggshells, waiting for the next shout or shutdown.
You love each other, but you aren't sure if you like each other right now. And that is a lonely place to be.
Our therapists can help you bridge the gap and move from conflict and coldness back to connection and warmth.
Your Guide to Couples Therapy
Jump to:
What is couples therapy, really?
Couples therapy isn't a courtroom.
We aren't here to decide who is right or who is wrong. We don't take sides.
Couples therapy is a place to lower your defenses and look at the patterns causing you pain.
When you are disconnected, your body often goes into survival mode.
You might get loud and critical (fight), or you might go quiet and shut down (freeze).
This isn't because you want to hurt each other; it's because your nervous system is trying to protect you.
Therapy helps you move out of survival mode and:
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Slow down your reactions,
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Tune in to what you are feeling, and
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Turn toward each other with curiosity.
Therapy provides the safety you need to drop the armor and find your friendship again.
Are you experiencing these signs of disconnection?
When you are together, your body might be telling you something is wrong.
Physical Signs:
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Brace: You tense up, clench your jaw, or hold your breath.
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Collapse: You feel tired and your battery instantly drains.
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Alarm: Your heart races or your stomach drops.
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Escape: You twitch in their presence or shake your feet.
Emotional Signs:
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Loneliness: You feel lonelier when they are in the room.
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Vigilance: You are constantly scanning for danger.
- Disappointment: You feel criticized or do the criticizing.
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Numbness: You feel checked out, flat, or indifferent.
Mental Signs:
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Filtering: You edit your thoughts before you speak.
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Stories: Your mind jumps to assumptions or suspicions.
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Masking: You're performing wellness while feeling alone.
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Mental load: You feel like the manager of the house.
If you recognize your relationship in this list, it doesn’t mean it’s over. You're stuck in a cycle of protection instead of connection—and cycles can change.
What causes disconnection?
Disconnection rarely happens all at once.
Relationships are under immense pressure today.
It isn’t because you don't care or aren't trying hard enough.
Often, the distance is caused by invisible stressors:
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The Nervous System Load: Stress, trauma, and burnout push our bodies to attack or defend. Your biology prioritizes safety over connection.
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Unspoken Scripts: Unconscious relationship dynamics we carry from our childhoods create conflict and silent barriers to connection.
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Different Operating Systems: If one of you is neurodiverse (diagnosed or not), you might be speaking different emotional languages.
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Compounding Trauma: We have all experienced individual and collective trauma. If theirs triggers yours, or yours triggers theirs, you create new stress.
Therapy moves you from asking what is wrong with us? to what does our relationship need?
When is it a good time to consider couples therapy?
The average couple waits six years after problems start before seeking help.
You don't need to be on the verge of separation to go to couples therapy.
When we don’t feel safe or connected, we unconsciously adopt patterns to protect us.
It might be a good time to seek support if you're stuck in:
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Conflict: You have the same arguments over and over and it never feels resolved, or everything turns into an argument.
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Withdrawal: You stop sharing your real thoughts or feelings and you prefer spending time alone or with other people.
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Transaction: You manage the household, but conversations are about logistics. You feel like business partners, not lovers.
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Threat: You monitor your words, tone, and timing, scanning your partner's mood or walking on eggshells to keep the peace.
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Resentment: You keep a mental tally of who did what, said what, or got what. Fairness has replaced generosity.
You do not need to wait until things are broken to ask for help. Therapy can help you strengthen your bond.
How can therapy help with your relationship?
Therapy is about rebuilding the integrity of the relationship, not finding flaws.
In couples work, the relationship is the client.
We don't just help you stop fighting. We can help with communication breakdown, conflict, infidelity, disconnection, trauma, or parenting disagreements.
We help you build a relationship that feels like a home.
Couples Therapy can help you:
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Decode the Signal: Hear what your partner is actually needing, beneath the criticism or silence.
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Regulate Together: Use your presence to calm your partner's nervous system (and vice versa).
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Repair: Conflict is inevitable; disagree without damaging your bond and learn the art of repair.
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Reclaim Intimacy: Move past logistics to rediscover friendship, playfulness, and physical connection.
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Translate: Understand the intent behind the behavior, not just the impact.
When you feel safe with each other again, love and connection grow naturally.
In therapy, we help you feel more safe, more often.
What therapy approaches work best for relationships?
We don't use a one-size-fits-all manual.
We blend research-backed methods to fit your unique dynamic.
We ensure you have both the practical tools and the emotional safety you need to repair your relationship using CBT, Gottman, Affirming and Somatic Therapy.
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Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): It's easy to fall into the trap of mind-reading or assuming the worst. CBT helps you respond to what is actually happening rather than the story your mind is telling you.
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Gottman Method: We use practical tools to disarm your patterns of Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling to build a culture of appreciation, a foundation of friendship, and shared meaning.
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Neurodiverse-Affirming Therapy: We act as translators to help you navigate sensory needs, executive function differences, and communication styles so you can stop masking and start connecting.
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Somatic Therapy: We work with your nervous systems to help you move out of survival mode and into a state of safety. We focus on co-regulation—learning to use your presence to soothe each other.
You don't need to fit into a box. We build the therapy around your unique dynamic, not the other way around.
If you are looking for a specific modality, visit our Approaches to Therapy page to see what our therapists offer.
What happens in couples therapy?
All relationships are based on trust.
Couples therapy is a place free from shame and blame.
We start by getting to know your story. We move at your pace, and build safety in the room.
Here is a roadmap we often use for couples therapy:
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Intake: We meet with you together to understand your history, struggles, and goals. We create a no shame zone where both sides of the story are heard.
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Assessment: We often do one individual session to understand your personal histories, see the cycle you are stuck in, and identify the strengths you already have.
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Work: We don't just talk; we practice. We slow down conversations in real-time to try a new way of responding. We give you tools to use at home between sessions.
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Goal: We want to work ourselves out of a job. Our goal is to give you the toolkit you need to navigate life together, so you don't need us anymore.
Whether you join us in-person in Calgary or online across Alberta, the goal is always the same: to create a space where you feel safe enough to heal.
Meet our featured Couples Therapists
Opening up about your relationship is vulnerable work.
We know inviting a stranger into your marriage takes courage. Our therapists bring their real selves into the room too, using humor, warmth, and feedback to help you find a way forward together.
REGISTERED PROVISIONAL PSYCHOLOGIST
I specialize in supporting couples and LGBTQIA+ partners navigating the complexities of relationships using CBT and Affirming Therapy. I offer an inclusive space to explore who you are as individuals and how you fit together as a team.
Exclusively Online
REGISTERED PSYCHOLOGIST
I bring a holistic lens to couples work using Gottman and Somatic Therapy. If trauma or ADHD is impacting your connection, I help you understand the mind-body link so you can stop blaming each other and start working with your unique wiring.
Exclusively Online
REGISTERED SOCIAL WORKER
I help couples navigate the tricky waters of emotional regulation, substance use, and ADHD using CBT and Mindfulness. If you are constantly misinterpreting each other or stuck in defensive patterns, I can help you find clarity and calm.
Online & In-Person
Why is staying connected so hard in Alberta?
Relationships don't happen in a vacuum.
Living in Calgary and Alberta comes with unique pressures that can strain even the strongest relationships.
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Shift Work Strain: The fly-in-fly-out or rotational shift lifestyle creates a cycle of separation and re-entry that can cause loneliness and friction.
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Economic Uncertainty: Survival stress impacts intimacy and patience. When you are worried about the future, it's hard to be present in the moment.
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Winter Blues: Our long winters can lead to isolation and lower energy (SAD), which often looks like withdrawal or disinterest in a relationship.
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Make Hay While the Sun Shines: There is a deep-seated pressure to grind hard to secure your future, but often at the cost of your present connections.
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Hyper-Independence: It might be a necessary survival skill if you have to function entirely alone at times, but it can make reconnection hard.
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Spillover Stress: Anxiety related to work or income depletes emotional resources, and spills over into the home, shortening fuses and making small conflicts bigger. You aren't fighting about the dishes; you are fighting stress.
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Silent Struggle: There is a cultural expectation to be tough and maintain appearances. You might feel you have to stay strong for the family, but this silence builds a wall between you.
We understand these dynamics because we live here, too. We can help you navigate them.
You don't have to figure this out alone.
When you are in the thick of it, it feels like you are fighting against each other.
But really, you are both fighting for connection—you just have different ways of asking for it.
We can help you stop fighting the person you love and change the cycle that is keeping you stuck.
Rediscover the friendship that started it all.
The next step is simple. You can book a free, 15-minute consultation to meet a therapist and see if it feels like a good fit.
No pressure, no commitment, just a conversation.
Our therapists offer daytime, evening, and weekend appointments to fit your lifestyle.
Common Questions About Couples Therapy
Will the therapist tell us to break up?
No, our job is not to decide the future of your relationship; it's to help you understand it. We act as guides to help you see the patterns causing you pain. Whether your goal is to rebuild the foundation or to navigate a separation with kindness, we support you in making the choice that is right for you.
What is neurodiverse couples therapy?
Neurodiverse couples therapy is for relationships where one or both partners identify as neurodivergent (ADHD, Autism, or sensory processing differences). We address specific challenges like sensory overwhelm, executive function differences, and communication gaps to reduce shame and build a bridge.
My partner refuses to come. Is individual therapy worth it?
Yes, relationship therapy for one is still effective because relationships are systems. When one person changes—by setting new boundaries, regulating reactivity, or changing how they communicate—the entire dynamic of the relationship shifts. You can create change even if you are the only one in the room.
Is couples therapy only for married couples?
No, couples therapy is for dating, cohabitating, married, separated, or divorced and co-parenting partners. Therapy Alberta is inclusive, affirming, and designed to support diverse couples—whether monogamous, non-monogamous, LGBTQ+, BIPOC, or other identities and dynamics.
How long does couples therapy usually take?
While every couple is different, most clients begin to feel a shift in safety and communication within the first 4 to 6 sessions. For deeper work involving long-standing trauma, betrayal, or neurodiverse dynamics, meaningful and sustainable change typically happens over 6 months of consistent work.
Can we do online couples therapy if we're in different locations in Alberta?
Yes, online therapy is ideal for busy couples or when you live separately for work, school, or other reasons. Online couples therapy is proven to be just as effective as in-person sessions. Many couples in Alberta find that being in their own space reduces stress, allowing them to be more vulnerable and relaxed.
Do you offer direct billing for couples counseling?
Yes, we can direct bill to most major insurance companies (including Blue Cross, Canada Life, Manulife, Green Shield, and SunLife) if your plan covers Registered Psychologists and Social Workers. We recommend checking your specific plan coverage for Couples or Family Therapy coverage prior to your first session.
If you have more questions about therapy or the process, visit our FAQ page or contact us.
