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You love each other deeply, but living together feels incredibly hard.
You might be afraid the wrong question or wrong tone will set off an explosion or a shutdown.
Living with family conflict feels like being stuck in a loop.
You have the same arguments, face the same slammed doors, and feel the same crushing exhaustion, no matter how hard you try to gentle parent or keep the peace.
You might be holding it together at work, managing complex projects and teams, only to come home and feel completely powerless to manage the dynamic in your own kitchen.
You might notice the:
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Dinner Table Freeze: Meals are rushed or silent because the tension is palpable, and everyone is avoiding eye contact.
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Transition Battle: Morning or nighttime routines feel like a high-stakes negotiation that ends in tears, yelling, or being late.
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Stranger in the House: You look at your partner or teen and feel a pang of grief because you don't know them anymore.
You aren't failing as a parent or a partner.
You are a group of people with overloaded nervous systems, trying to find safety in a world that feels increasingly chaotic.
Your Guide to Family Therapy
Jump to:
What is family therapy, really?
Each family is an interconnected system.
Family therapy isn't about finding the bad guy or fixing the problem child.
Imagine a mobile hanging above a crib. If you tug on one piece, the whole thing moves. Right now, your family mobile is lopsided, spinning too fast, or tangled up in threads of resentment and misunderstanding.
When a family is under stress, members often adopt protective roles to survive the chaos:
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Managers try to control every detail to prevent disaster.
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Peacemakers silence their needs to keep others happy.
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Lightning Rods act out tension the family is ignoring.
These aren't character flaws; they are survival strategies. Your defiant teen is seeking autonomy. Your checked out partner is in a protective freeze state.
Family therapy helps you untangle the wires and move together again without colliding.
Therapy shifts the question from what is wrong with you? to what does our system need to feel safe?
Is your family experiencing these signs of stress?
Family conflict doesn't always look like shouting.
Physical Signs (The Body Struggle):
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The Alarm State: You have a racing heart, tight chest, or shallow breath when you go home or hear footsteps approaching.
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Sensory Overload: The noise, mess, and demands of the household feel physically painful, leading to overwhelm or burnout.
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Collective Collapse: A heavy, lethargic exhaustion where no one has the energy to cook, play, or plan meaningful time together.
Emotional Signs (The Feelings Struggle):
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Walking on Eggshells: A state of hyper-vigilance, scanning the room to read the mood before you speak to avoid a reaction.
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Scorekeeping: Keeping a mental tally of who did more chores, who slept in, or who went out, creating a wall of resentment.
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Grief for the Ideal: A deep sadness your family life doesn't look like what you wanted, or fear that you are damaging your children.
Behavioral Signs (The Action Struggle):
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Silo Effect: Everyone retreats to separate rooms and screens; you live together under one roof but exist separately in digital worlds.
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Explosive Reactivity: Small requests (like chores) trigger massive meltdowns or rage responses that seem out of proportion.
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Triangulation: Venting to one family member about another family member, instead of talking to them directly.
If you recognize your home in this list, you are not broken.
What causes family conflict?
Families are complex ecosystems.
Conflict is caused by a storm of biology, environment, and history that pushes the system out of balance.
Patterns of conflict often emerge when the demands on the family exceed the resources you have to cope.
Some common contributing factors include:
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Life Transitions: A move, divorce, new baby, identity change or job loss can shake the foundation of safety and force the family to rewrite its rules.
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Nervous System Load: Modern families are facing unprecedented pressures, operating in a state of chronic fight or flight that makes co-regulation difficult.
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Intergenerational Patterns: You might be a cycle-breaker trying to parent differently than you were raised. Sometimes the patterns are deep-rooted and persistent.
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Neurodiversity Mismatches: Mismatches in operating systems and sensory needs (loud vs. quiet, bright vs. dim) can lead to conflict and misunderstandings.
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Unprocessed Trauma: Grief, loss, or past traumas can live in the family walls, creating invisible no-go zones in conversations and blocking intimacy and connection.
We help you understand the roots of your family tension.
When is it a good time to consider family therapy?
The wait and see approach often leads to years of unnecessary pain and patterns.
You might tell yourself it's just a phase, all teenagers are like this, or we just need to get through this busy season.
The best time to fix the roof is when the sun is shining, but we are here for you in the storm, too.
You don't need to be in crisis. Early intervention can prevent struggles from becoming permanent estrangements.
It might be time to consider family therapy if:
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Fun is Gone: You manage logistics but have stopped enjoying each other's company or laughing together.
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Problems are Growing: Someone's behavior is beginning to dictate the entire household's schedule and mood.
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You Are Burning Out: You feel dread on your way home from work, or you are too tired to parent anymore.
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Big Transitions: You are navigating divorce, blending families, moving, or grieving, and the ground feels shaky.
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Communication Has Stopped: You stop talking about important things because it leads to a fight or a shutdown.
Therapy gives you a safe place to have the conversations you can't have at home.
How can therapy help your family?
Family therapy is a time for connection.
It is a safe place to practice new ways of being together.
We don't just talk about problems. We facilitate corrective experiences where you feel heard and understood.
We don't just referee fights. We help you change the way you relate to each other so the fights don't need to happen.
Family Therapy can help you:
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Decode the Signal: Learn to translate behaviors into unmet needs to see beneath the anger and overwhelm.
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Regulate the System: Move from co-dysregulation to co-regulation (use your presence to calm the storm).
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Repair the Rupture: Move past I'm sorry to true repair that strengthens the bond after a conflict.
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Translate the Signal: Help neurodiverse and neurotypical family members understand each other.
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Build Safety: Create an environment where it is safe to be messy and imperfect, without fear of shame.
When you understand the why, compassion returns naturally.
We provide specialized support for families and teens navigating anxiety, body image, bullying, grief, identity, self harm, substance use, or trauma.
What therapy approaches work best for families?
We don't use a cookie-cutter approach to therapy.
We blend research-backed modalities to fit your unique family dynamic, respecting your culture, neurotype, and history.
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Affirming Therapy: For families navigating LGBTQ+ identities or cultural stress, we provide a safe space to bridge the gap between generations and values without shame.
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Family Systems: The family is an interconnected emotional unit. We help you identify and shift hidden patterns and roles that keep you stuck, so the whole system can function better.
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Internal Family Systems (IFS): We help you understand the internal protective parts of each family member and where they clash to reduce conflict and increase compassion.
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Somatic Therapy: Families share a nervous system like devices share a WiFi network. We help the whole family lower their collective alarm system, moving out of fight/flight and into rest/digest so you can rebuild safety and joy.
Our therapists are trained in multiple approaches, so they can build the therapy around your family, ensuring everyone feels heard.
If you are looking for a specific modality, visit our Approaches to Therapy page to see what our therapists offer.
What happens in family therapy?
Therapy is a conversation, not a blame game.
We create a space where every voice matters—from the quietest child to the most frustrated parent.
We prioritize safety over speed. We never force you to talk about things you aren't ready for.
Here is a roadmap of what you can expect:
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Intake (The Download): We meet (sometimes with parents first) to understand the history, patterns, and goals. We listen without judgment to get the full picture.
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Assessment (The Map): We interact and observe how you respond, talk, and react. We notice the patterns of your family to see where the steps are getting tangled.
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Work (The Shift): We slow down the conversation. We might pause an argument and practice new tools in real-time, interrupting old patterns and creating opportunities.
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Integration (The Change): You take these tools home. We give you the skills to navigate the bumps on your own so you can handle future storms together.
You remain the experts on your family; we are just the guides.
Whether you join us in-person in Calgary or online across Alberta, the goal is always the same: to create a space where your family feels safe enough to heal.
Meet our featured Family Therapists
Our therapists are real people who understand the messiness of family life. They are parents, partners, and humans first, bringing lived experience alongside clinical expertise.
REGISTERED PROVISIONAL PSYCHOLOGIST
I am a bridge-builder for families feeling the strain of the teen years. If you are navigating neurodiversity or LGBTQ+ identities, I use Affirming Therapy and Family Systems to help you understand each other and find a path forward without judgment.
Exclusively Online
REGISTERED PROVISIONAL PSYCHOLOGIST
I offer a culturally safe haven for families navigating the complex balance of two worlds. Using Family Systems and Somatic Therapy, I help immigrant and BIPOC families process intergenerational patterns and racial trauma to rebuild trust and unity.
Exclusively Online
REGISTERED PSYCHOLOGIST
I view the family through a holistic, mind-body lens. If your home feels chaotic or disconnected, I use Internal Family Systems and Somatic Therapy to help you regulate your collective nervous system so you can access your family's internal power and peace.
Exclusively Online
Why does family life feel so hard in Alberta right now?
The environment we live in exerts pressure on families.
Living in Calgary and Alberta comes with stressors that impact the entire family unit:
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Boom & Bust Anxiety: Alberta's economic rollercoaster creates a background hum of survival stress. The fear of layoffs, inflation, and the cost of living crisis can make parents stressed and less emotionally available, and kids feel the anxiety and act out through their behaviors.
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FIFO (Fly-In-Fly-Out) Factor: Many Albertan families operate on FIFO or shift work. One parent is exhausted from solo-parenting; the other is exhausted from work, and the re-entry friction when a partner returns can cause disruption and resentment.
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Educational Pressure Cooker: With the recent Alberta teachers' strike, curriculum changes, and political tension in schools regarding gender and identity, the pressure to perform in a hustle culture creates a pressure cooker environment for kids.
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Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD): Our long, dark winters can force families indoors for months. The lack of light and cabin fever can exacerbate irritability and depression, shrinking the family's window of tolerance.
We understand these pressures because we live here too, and we can help you navigate them.
You can build a home that feels like a sanctuary.
You have spent enough time managing the chaos alone.
You can lower the alarm.
You can drop the heavy weight.
You can find your way back to each other.
The next step is simple. You can book a free, 15-minute consultation to meet a therapist and see if it feels like a good fit for your family.
No pressure, no commitment, just a conversation.
Our therapists offer daytime, evening, and weekend appointments to fit your lifestyle.
Common Questions About Family Therapy
Do all family members have to attend every session?
Not always. While it is helpful to have everyone present to see the full dynamic, we often work with subsystems. We might see just the adults to work on parenting, just the siblings to resolve conflict, or individual members to support the whole. We design the structure based on what your family needs.
My teenager refuses to come. Can we still do therapy?
Yes, in Systems Theory, if one part of the mobile moves, the whole thing moves. Parents can do powerful parenting work to change how they respond to a teen, which often shifts the teen's behavior even if they never step foot in the therapy room. We can help you invite them in a way that lowers resistance.
Will you tell us who is right and who is wrong?
No, family therapy isn't a courtroom. We don't take sides. We are on the side of the relationship. We help you move away from blame (looking back) to responsibility (looking forward). We validate everyone's perspective while helping you change the patterns that are hurting you.
Is family therapy covered by insurance?
Yes, if your benefits plan covers Registered Psychologists, Social Workers, or Certified Counsellors. We can often direct bill to major providers like Blue Cross, Manulife, and Canada Life. We recommend checking your specific plan coverage for Family Therapy to understand its limits.
How is this different from parenting coaching?
Parenting coaching often focuses on behavior modification (tips and tricks to get kids to listen). Family therapy goes deeper into the relational dynamics and the nervous system states that drive those behaviors. We don't just put a band-aid on the behavior; we heal the root cause of the disconnection.
Do you work with neurodivergent families (ADHD/Autism)?
Absolutely. We are a neuro-affirming practice. We don't try to fix neurodivergence, we help families understand different operating systems so you can stop fighting against your brain and start building an environment where everyone can thrive. We celebrate the unique strengths of neurodiverse minds.
Do you offer online family therapy?
Yes, we offer secure video therapy to families across Alberta. Online therapy is just as effective as in-person sessions, and it can be especially helpful for families with busy schedules or those living in rural areas. Family members can be in the same or different spaces, with no commute or waiting room.
If you have more questions about therapy or the process, visit our FAQ page or contact us.
