Dissociation doesn’t announce itself.
Some people notice it as losing time or zoning out.
Others feel it as fog, numbness or watching life from far away.
Some only notice it when someone says they seem blank or distant.
Maybe you feel:
- blank
- distant
- flat
- unreal
Your nervous system can turn the volume down on feelings.
What is Dissociation?
Dissociation is a disconnection from your body, thoughts, feelings, memories or surroundings.
Daydreaming and flow state are both examples.
Dissociation is also your body’s way of protecting you when something feels unsafe.
It’s more common after trauma, but it can also happen with overwhelm, exhaustion or stress.
It isn’t always dramatic, and it doesn’t mean something is wrong with you.
It can look different across people, from a blank stare or flat voice to feeling emotionally cold.
Dissociation becomes a concern when it causes distress or gets in the way of your life.
Signs and Symptoms of Dissociation
Physical
- feeling floaty
- not feeling pain
- numbness
- stiff posture
Mental
- blank mind
- daydreaming
- forgetfulness
- memory gaps
Emotional
- feeling far away
- feeling unreal
- flat emotions
- missing feelings
Social
- autopilot
- being checked out
- getting lost in screens
- missing conversations
What Causes Dissociation?
Dissociation usually develops for many reasons, often early in life:
- Your body: some nervous systems are more sensitive, and exhaustion or pain can make disconnecting easier.
- Your experiences: trauma, abuse or neglect, especially in childhood, can teach your mind and body to disconnect.
- Your relationships: growing up without safe comfort can leave disconnecting as the only way to cope.
- Your circumstances: ongoing stress, danger or discrimination can keep your body turning the volume down.
Dissociation can continue as a default response, even after the danger has passed.
Dissociation made sense when there was no other way out.
Dissociation and Your Nervous System
Dissociation is one of your nervous system’s responses to overwhelming pain.
Your responses range from activating, like fight and flight, to disconnecting, like shutdown and collapse.
Your nervous system can act like a dial, turning feelings down or off.
It usually turns down some feelings, sometimes, in some places or with some people.
Turning the volume down is your nervous system’s way of protecting you.
As you feel safer, the volume can come back up, a little at a time.
Dissociation and Trauma
What if the parts of you that went quiet were keeping you safe?
After trauma, your mind can wall off painful memories so you can keep going.
You might drift away automatically during stress, touch, intimacy or reminders of earlier harm.
That’s part of why you might only notice dissociation later, or not at all.
Dissociation after trauma can look like going blank in conflict, leaving your body or feeling nothing.
Each of these once helped you survive something you couldn’t escape.
With enough safety, being present can start to feel possible.
Ways to Care for Yourself
Welcome yourself back
When you notice you’ve come back from drifting somewhere in your mind, greet yourself gently.
Find one anchor
Choose one thing to hold on to, like a stone, a stick or a piece of jewelry. Keep it somewhere close.
Name where you are
Say quietly where you are, the name of the street, what day it is or one thing you can see around you.
Wrap up
Wrap yourself in a heavy blanket, a hoodie or a scarf to feel the weight of something holding you.
When to Get Help
You might tell yourself you’re just spacey, or that everyone zones out.
But dissociation can quietly pull you away from your life and relationships.
It might be time to reach out if you:
- feel like a different person at times
- feel numb to what matters
- feel unreal or far away
- lose time or memory
It doesn’t have to be constant or severe.
When you feel disconnected, it’s time to get help.
Therapy can help you build safety first, so being present feels possible.
Questions About Dissociation
Why do I zone out in conversations?
Why can’t I remember parts of my life?
Why do I feel nothing at big moments?
Why do I feel unreal sometimes?
What is depersonalization?
What is derealization?
Can dissociation happen without trauma?
Are all trauma therapies safe for dissociation?
Resources for Dissociation in Alberta
If you're in crisis, call or text 988 any time, day or night. For more crisis lines across Alberta, visit our crisis support page.
Support Lines
- Mental Health Helpline: 1-877-303-2642. Free support and referrals for anyone in Alberta, 24/7.
- 211 Alberta: Call or text 211, or chat online, to find local mental health services and community supports.
- Health Link: 811. Talk to a nurse any time, including about memory gaps or feeling unreal.
Learn and Practice
- MyHealth Alberta: Read about dissociation on Alberta's trusted health information site.
- ISSTD: Free fact sheets on trauma and dissociation from an international expert society.
- Togetherall: Free, anonymous online peer support, moderated around the clock, for Albertans 16 and older.
Related Topics in This Library
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