How to Help Prevent Suicide: Support and Staying Safe

If you're thinking about suicide right now, you can call or text 988 any time, day or night. If you're in immediate danger, call 911. You can find more free, confidential support on our crisis support page.

Do you have thoughts of suicide, or know someone who has?

More than 1 in 10 Canadians have had thoughts of suicide at some point in their lives. Every day in Canada, about 12 people die by suicide and more than 200 people attempt suicide. Each death deeply affects at least 7 to 10 people who loved them (Government of Canada).

These numbers are heartbreaking.

As a province, a society, and a healthcare system, we need to do more. We need to do better. We need to help those who are struggling, thinking of suicide, planning suicide, and attempting suicide.

But how can we do that when many people who are suicidal cannot access effective mental health care?

Let's consider the barriers.

5 barriers to effective mental health care around suicide

1. Stigma, blame, and shame

There is societal, religious, cultural, digital media, social, and interpersonal stigma, blame, and shame around suicide and suicidal thoughts.

People with suicidal thoughts may fear judgment, blame, shame, discrimination, or negative reactions from others, and stay silent or stop trying to get help.

2. Fear of police, paramedics, or hospitalization

People might want to avoid police or paramedic intervention or hospitalization.

Involuntary first responder intervention and hospitalization can put people's education, work, livelihood, relationships, and safety at risk.

3. Professionals' fear and duty to report

Mental health professionals might be afraid of losing a client to suicide.

Their actions are bound by their profession and the law's duty to report, but these actions can further harm clients.

4. Limited access to care

There is limited access to effective mental health care.

Wait times, location, culture and language barriers, cost, and limits to health insurance coverage can all stand in the way. For someone already struggling to get through the day, even one of these barriers can feel impossible to get past, and many people give up before they find help.

5. Not all treatment is effective

Not all treatment is effective for reducing suicidal thoughts and behaviours.

Different therapeutic approaches decrease suicidal thoughts, access to lethal means, or attempts, but rarely all three.

Suicide can be prevented

We can all contribute to a safer society where people can receive equal and dignified care without barriers.

To prevent suicide, we need to understand it, talk about it with empathy, normalize and validate, treat people kindly, support people who have suicidal thoughts, and provide appropriate help for people planning suicide.

Suicide can be prevented if people are supported, respected, and can access appropriate care in a dignified way.

5 ways to prevent suicide and respond to suicidal thoughts

1. Normalize and understand suicidal thoughts

More than 1 in 10 Canadians say they have had suicidal thoughts. Many more probably have, so let's all be honest.

Suicidal thoughts affect people across all age groups and identities. People who have thoughts of suicide aren't doing anything wrong. Suicidal thoughts are learned human responses to escape unrelenting suffering and shame.

Consider the vast range of human thoughts:

• I can't do this anymore
• I don't want to live like this
• There's no point
• I don't want to suffer anymore
• I'd rather die
• There's nothing I can do
• Why bother
• They'd be better off without me
• I just want the pain to stop
• No one cares
• There's no way out
• I wish I were dead
• I don't want to be here anymore

Sometimes we don't even recognize our thoughts as suicidal, since often it isn't an urge to die, but an urge to escape or stop suffering.

Sometimes suicidal thoughts and urges come in moments of overwhelm, pain, hopelessness, rejection, anger, or isolation. Other times, the thoughts intrude in random places and times, while driving, walking, or bathing.

Sometimes they're just a whisper, other times a shout. Sometimes it hurts just thinking about them, and other times they feel like relief.

If you know someone who is struggling, ask if they have had suicidal thoughts. Asking about suicide does not put the idea in someone's head. Talking about suicide does not make it worse. Don't be afraid to ask.

If you know someone who has suicidal thoughts, normalize their experience. Share your own experience with suicidal thoughts, or that of someone else you know.

If you experience thoughts of suicide, you are not alone. You are not weak, and you are not broken. You are human.

Actions that normalize:

• Increase your own understanding and awareness of suicide and suicidal thoughts.
• Read the personal stories of people who have struggled with suicidal thoughts.
• Encourage discussions about mental health in schools, workplaces, homes, and communities.
• Support mental health awareness campaigns that seek to normalize suicidal thoughts.
• Take training on suicide prevention.
• Avoid stigmatizing language, to create spaces where people feel safe to talk about suicidal thoughts.
• If you have reason to wonder, ask someone if they have thoughts of suicide.

2. Validate people who have suicidal thoughts or have attempted suicide

It is important to validate both the person and their pain.

Not everyone knows how to hear and hold suffering. Some people minimize, deny, deflect, reject, criticize, mock, ignore, compare, or trump other people's pain. Some people and institutions will blame the person who is struggling.

It should never be that way. No one should have to be alone with their thoughts and feelings.

Try to understand the person's story. You can ask, listen, acknowledge, empathize, care, respect, accept without judgment, and hold space for pain.

It doesn't help to pretend these thoughts aren't there. They are. But suicide is never the only way out of pain. It doesn't have to be the next choice, the last resort, or the backup plan.

All people deserve care and compassion. When someone is experiencing suicidal thoughts, it is especially important to be kind and patient, show empathy, avoid judgment, be available and present, offer support, and follow up.

Actions that validate:

• Acknowledge and empathize with someone's thoughts and emotions.
• Listen closely and show real interest.
• Hold your judgment and ask questions to increase your understanding.
• Reflect their feelings and concerns without trying to provide solutions.
• Let them know their experience is real and valid, and offer your support.
• Ask if they have talked to anyone else about this or reached out for professional help.

3. Support people who have suicidal thoughts and plans

If someone tells you they are having thoughts of suicide or are planning suicide, stay calm.

They are reaching out for help, and there are many ways you can support them. Talking about suicide does not make it worse, so don't be afraid to talk and ask questions.

Normalize and validate their experience. Try to stay present with them, showing you care and want to help. Don't minimize or deny their struggles. Just try to understand their story. Be kind.

Sometimes people need someone to talk to. Other times, they just need to spend time with someone who understands. You can talk about school or work or sports, watch a show, eat together, or do something they find fun. Distraction is okay when it helps increase moments of positive connection and joy.

You can ask if they have a safety plan and how you can help. Offer to listen, visit, or help them call a helpline. You can help them create or use their safety plan, connect them to support and resources, and increase their hope of being helped through this.

If they have a therapist, you can ask if they have told their therapist about their thoughts of suicide. Help them normalize these thoughts and feelings, and encourage them to share their concerns with their therapist.

You can also ask if they have a plan for how they would end their life. If so, ask if they have access to the means in their plan. If you feel comfortable, you can help them put distance between themselves and those means, or take them to a friend's, a family member's, or your own safe place.

Non-consensual emergency intervention and hospitalization can be frightening and harmful, so when there is time, be thoughtful before you call anyone, and try to involve the person in the decision.

If the person feels they cannot keep themselves safe, or you feel they cannot keep themselves safe, call a mobile response or crisis team or 911, or offer to take them to the emergency department. Once there, they can be connected to resources, support, and professionals who can help.

4. Help people who are struggling with suicide access appropriate care

Looking for help while you are struggling with suicidal thoughts can feel next to impossible.

Offer to help the person research and find local resources, including emergency care, crisis care (24/7 and anonymous helplines), acute care (public short-term counselling services), support groups, or therapy (public or private long-term counselling services).

You can help them call, book an appointment, and attend their first session. Keep following up and checking in to show you care.

Mental health professionals also need to ask the right questions when supporting someone with suicidal thoughts.

Therapy needs to specifically treat suicidality, not just the underlying concern, like depression. It also needs to adjust treatment to the person's suicidal thoughts, access to lethal means, and any previous suicide attempts.

Professionals should normalize and validate suicidal thoughts, and work with the person to create a safety plan tailored to their concerns.

Therapy is only effective in the context of a safe therapeutic relationship, where the person experiences respect, dignity, empowerment, and hope. If a person is afraid their therapist is going to dismiss their thoughts, reject their cry for help, or call for intervention, they might shut down and hide their emotions and urges.

5. Decrease non-consensual intervention and hospitalization

People should be able to tell a distress line worker or their therapist that they are having suicidal thoughts without fear of non-consensual medical intervention or hospitalization.

Involuntary first responder intervention and hospitalization are associated with a higher risk of suicide afterward.

First responder intervention should be a last resort and, whenever possible, should happen with the person's consent and involve their safe people.

Hospitalization should be reserved for those who can no longer keep themselves safe or intend to follow through on a plan. Time in the hospital must focus on suicidality and provide specific and effective treatment.

How to keep yourself safe if you have suicidal thoughts or urges

If you have thoughts of suicide or self-harm, you don't have to tell everyone, but please keep looking until you find someone you can talk to.

Someone who will listen, not overreact, hold your trust, and help keep you safe. It is difficult to be vulnerable, and you can find someone who will see, hear, understand, and be with you, even in the worst times.

There are many free resources across Alberta and Canada offering 24/7, anonymous, confidential, immediate, or short-term support for people in crisis or distress. If you need help or are having thoughts of suicide or self-harm, please reach out.

If you are concerned about your safety in a relationship, consider calling from a friend's phone, a public phone, or a work phone.

The ways of keeping yourself safe depend on your unique situation and experience.

Here are some things to consider:

• If you don't have a therapist yet, look for one you could see yourself trusting with your struggles.
• If you already have a therapist, ask them to create a safety plan with you if you haven't made one yet.
• If you are alone, you can do things you enjoy or that keep you busy or distracted, like music, TV, your phone, going outside, pets, art, or hobbies.
• If you don't feel safe alone but aren't ready to talk, you can call a friend or family member who can help distract you, just by talking, going out, or doing something fun.
• If you need more help, you can contact someone in your life you would feel comfortable telling that you are struggling with suicidal thoughts. Let them know what could help, whether it's listening, helping you with your safety plan, or visiting you.
• If you don't want to tell anyone in your life yet, you can call, text, or chat with an anonymous distress line, like 988, to talk with a trained volunteer or counsellor who can help you calm, regulate, reframe, create or use a safety plan, or find other resources.
• If you have a therapist, you can contact them. Many therapists will respond when they get your message, to offer support between sessions or set up an extra session.
• If you have access to the means to harm yourself, you can tell someone who can hold onto them for now, or bring you somewhere safe away from them.
• If you feel you cannot keep yourself safe, you can call a mobile response or crisis team to come to you, call 911, or have someone take you to the emergency department.

Once there, you can be connected to resources, supports, and professionals who can help you find safety and hope.

Co-creating a future everyone hopes to be part of

Responding to suicidal thoughts takes a collective effort to overcome the barriers to better care and to prevent suicide.

We must challenge the societal, cultural, and interpersonal stigma surrounding suicide and normalize conversations about mental health.

Validating different experiences builds understanding, empathy, and support, and creates safe, non-judgmental spaces for people to express and explore their pain.

Appropriate mental health care should be accessible to all, and should reduce non-consensual intervention and hospitalization, giving people agency and effective treatment.

By working together, we can create a society where people feel safe and supported to access dignified care for their mental health.

Hope is not lost. Hopefulness exists when you can imagine a future you want to be part of.

We can all contribute to a life where humans are safe to struggle, share their fears, and feel their suffering. When we feel together, we heal together.

May we all co-create a future that everyone wants to be part of.

Depression Therapy in Alberta

If pain, hopelessness, or thoughts of suicide have been weighing on you, reaching out for support can help.

Depression therapy offers a steady, confidential space to be honest about what you're experiencing without judgment. A therapist can help you build safety, understand what's underneath the pain, and find your way through it.

You don't have to carry this by yourself.

This article is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy, medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

If you or someone you care about is in crisis or at risk of harm, please get help now. Call 911 or go to your nearest emergency department. You can also call or text 988 any time for suicide and crisis support. For more options, see our crisis support page.

About the Author

Carol Korenowski is a writer, speaker, and mental health advocate who created Therapy Alberta.